I believe it is time for another Bear story, right?  For those of you who are reading my blog for the first time, Bear is my mom.  She has earned this moniker for sure.  Love that lady!  But she sure doesn’t sugar coat anything!  So for those of you who know me and tell me that, “I tell it like it is”,  man o’ man…you have no idea what direct is!

I remember one day coming home and I was so mad at some girl.  Boy, I unleashed to my mom and gave her the rundown of how she had wronged me!  Of course, I don’t remember who the girl was or what the fight was even about.  But I do remember Bear’s exact words to me:

“What was your part in it?” Say what????

I just told her the list of things that she had done and said to her baby girl.  She must not have heard me correctly, so I laid it all out there for her again.  Once again, the words left her mouth,

“Like I said, what was your part in all of this?”

My word, this woman has no sympathy!  I mean, didn’t she know I was hurting?   Didn’t she know that I just needed an ear to listen?  Or did Bear actually know best and that what I needed was a swift kick in the butt?  Once again I walked, or better yet, stormed to my room.  And in my room is where I started to realize that she could possibly be right.  Maybe my actions or lack thereof caused this girl to react in a certain way towards me.  Maybe the way I made her feel when I was around made her feel angry towards me. Maybe, just maybe, I did have some part in this altercation that I originally thought was one sided against me.

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Dammit…Bear was freaking right again!

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These words have stuck with me my whole life.  I think of them when my husband and I are fighting.  When my kids and I are not communicating well.  When friendships take a turn.  And of course when I am not clicking with my team!  I stop.  I take some time to reflect. Then I ask myself, “What is my part in this?”

Let’s go through some scenarios.  I’ll let you in on some discoveries about myself, which may or may not relate to you.  But, if you do learn to stop and ask yourself “What is my part in this”,  you may just figure out how to work on being a better version of yourself.  That is the only thing YOU can control.

I keep sponsoring people into my organization, but they keep quitting.

Well I know my part in this for sure!  I haven’t gone all in with them.  Period.  I tend to keep people at arm’s length, preparing for their departure even before it happens.  I mean seriously, people quit this business all the time.  So until he/she shows me that they are in this for the duration of their life, I am not getting close!   What the heck Tory?  Are you kidding me?  Of course they are quitting.  They need you to give them vision, strength, belief, direction, and connection.  They have no idea what this business is all about and what it takes to succeed in it.   They – Need – You.   ALL OF YOU!

My team is MIA and not engaged at all.

I always say to myself, “How in the heck do they know when I am taking the day off or going on vacation?  It seems like everyone goes on vacation with me”!  One thing I know for sure is that it all starts with me.  When I am engaged and in massive activity, most of my team is too!  When I am All In with them, they tend to feel that and roll up their sleeves on their business. I believe a lot of it goes back to the first scenario.  I realize that when people I am sponsoring go MIA, I often retreat instead of calling them and just asking what the heck is going on?   I have discovered that the best lead off sentence for me is to just ask them, “How are you feeling about your business right now”?  The crazy thing is, they tell me.  This question opens the flood gates to having a great conversation and understanding what is going on in their life and in their mind.  So now that I know what the obstacles are, I can help them problem solve.  Now that...I can help them do!

My team is looking to other leaders for guidance instead of me.

You have got to ask yourself:

• Are you guiding them?
• Are you stepping up into leadership?
• Are you acting like a leader that someone would want to follow?
• Are you all in with this person?

If the answer is maybe not, then you know what you have to do.  If the answer is yes, then maybe, just maybe, you don’t roll the same way.  I know I didn’t roll the same way with my upline.  They are incredible leaders for so many, but they are just different than me.  That’s it.  It's not good or bad, right or wrong...we're just different.  They are lovely people who I learned so much from and am so grateful for, but I needed to learn another way of doing this business that fit with my personality.  So I sought out those people that I could connect with and learn from as well.  It’s all good!  You have to be okay with people reaching out to sidelines.  Just be happy they are trying to find their way in this world and their business.  And talk about leveraging!!!  Of course I would love to be “The One” for everyone, but what I love more is that they are succeeding with their business.  Think about this:

Think about the people who do reach out to others and often come back with some great ideas and tools that will most likely help you too!!

I take advantage of that almost every single day!

My customers aren’t buying.

Okay, so this is one I seriously need to work on too.  We have the word Consultant in our title for goodness sake. So you have to ask yourself, “Am I acting like one”?  Here are things I do religiously.  Send out my newsletter.  Reach out via email or text to tell them their account needs to be renewed.  Send them info that there is a new product or a special they should take advantage of.  You get the idea, right?  Did you notice that not once in my list of things did you read that I call and consult?  I do, but not nearly as often as I should.  You want people to keep using your products, so the first thing you should ask yourself is, “Do my customers know I care about them and want to help them with their wellness”?  You have to be confident with your product line and excited to tell them about it.  So much so that you can’t relay that with the written word.  When they hear your voice they are dying to get their hands on whatever you are telling them about or getting their account renewed so they miss out on nothing!  You see, people do business with people they know, like, and trust.

Do they Know, Like, and Trust you???

Time to wrap this thing up.  As we know, there are always two sides to every story.  There are also two perceptions of every interaction.  The only one we can control is our side.  I encourage you to take a moment when needed and ask yourself, “What is my part in this?” You will know the answer.  Then it is up to you to make the changes you need to make if you want to grow in life and in the business world.