Why spend one second on things you can’t control? I mean why would you? You can’t do anything about it, it’s already done. This is the time you brain should go…”Okay what am I to do now”? I talk with people pretty much every day that by the time the conversation is over, I am thoroughly exhausted! They didn’t call me for help. They called me to get validation about it so they don’t have to deal with it. I’m not a ding bat. I get you! I may sound like a heartless gal to many of you, but you have to remember I was raised by Bear. She didn’t take any of our nonsense. Let’s blame it on her. Haha!

When you are in a pickle and you decide to talk with someone about it, if your description of the problem is more than a couple of sentences … I am here to tell you that you are not looking for a solution. You are looking for an okay from me so you don’t have to deal with it. No one needs to hear the whole story, we just need to get the basics so we can help you come up with your plan of attack.

Let me tell you the phone calls I love to get:

• Hey Tory, so this happened. Any advice on how I could best deal with this?

• Hey Tory, I have a problem. Can we put our heads together and come with a solution?

• Hey Tory, I am struggling. Can you maybe give me some advice on how you would deal with this?

Now these I can help you with! I actually love helping people! I think one of my gifts is figuring out a way to flip things in my favor.

Maybe it was because I was the youngest in a big family and I was always doing something naughty?

Maybe it was because I was shady as hell in my younger days and I needed to get out of a few messes?

Maybe I was just given the gift from the man upstairs and I now use it for good!

When someone asks for advice, I put myself in their place and think about how I would most likely deal with it. Sometimes I can come up with something immediately. Sometimes it takes me some time to think on it.

If you want to succeed at business and life, I really feel this is a place you should maybe take a look at.

When you come up on an obstacle, how are you looking at it? Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Are you saying the words “of course this happens to me”? Are you calling someone to tell them ALL about it? Or, are you just saying “Dammit”! That’s what usually pops into my head and then I try to get the very next thought to go in the direction of solving whatever it is that needs solving. Pretty much everything is figureoutable. IT-REALLY-IS!

Someone quits on you? Number one, they didn’t quit on you. They quit on themselves. Let’s get that straight! Secondly, can you get them back?

You have to ask yourself, do you even want them back?

How much value did they add? Was it their numbers that you are going to miss or is it actually them and what they added to the team, to you, to your world? If it’s the number you are going to miss, then I encourage you to set out to replace them with people who are going to add life and positive energy to you and your organization. The numbers will come into your organization if it is being led by amazing people.

Life keeps getting in the way of you being able to focus on your business? Is life getting in the way or are you choosing to focus on the obstacle instead of the solution? Every single successful person in the world has life. We have family that becomes ill. We have other obligations that need our attention. We have relationships we need to work on. We have children that need us for what feels like everything. But..we also have a team that needs us. We have clients that need our attention. We have companies that need our focus.

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You do have enough time to do it all. Yes you do!

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I saw this saying a long time ago and from that moment on I have lived by it this rule. When someone or something is asking for my time.

If it is not a HELL YES, it is a F*#K no!

That may sound crass, but man it has helped me navigate life! Think about that for a minute. When those moments come, pay attention to your thoughts. Someone asks me to volunteer? Someone wants me to come to some event? My husband or kids need me for something? A friend wants to hang out? It’s one of those two answers. Period. It’s super freeing. If I don’t immediately think “hell yes”, it’s the other. Don’t need to think about it any more and I can get on with my day.

Okay, those are my thoughts today. Now I need to get to work! Someone told me yesterday that they have missed my blog posts, so I asked myself.
Do I have time to write today? Hell Yes!
Do I want to jot some thoughts down? Hell Yes!
Do I think my words might help someone who reads this? Hell Yes!
Do I want edit, rewrite it over and over until it’s perfect? F*&k No!

Enjoy!

I would love to hear your thoughts in COMMENTS.